Bar Laws

Okay so Van and I were having one of our LLS's at our favorite spot. We had already had two drinks each when I (at the time, single) spot the cutie running the bar.
VAN: Are you gonna say anything to him or are you just gonna stare at his rump all day?

VIC: I'll take rump for 500, Alex.

VAN: Vic......seriously? You are Vic. You don't shy away from the boy toys.

VIC: You're right. So, I'll just leave him my  phone number??

VAN: That'll work. So, why are you nervous?

VIC: Wanna tell me you wouldn't be?

So Van and I finished our drinks and bad girl, fat inducing cheese fries then finally, to my dismay (somewhat), the check came. Which meant I had to leave my name and phone number. Because I had already told Van I would....and Vic doesn't back down. There I was scrambling to scribble [call me: Vic 555-5555] before the bartender walked up to take the cash. I did it in record time. He came to pick up the money, I grabbed my purse and prepared to follow Van to the door when all of a sudden I see Van staring wide-eyed at the brunette girl behind the bar. Who is reading my phone number over the cuties shoulder........who happens to be WITH cutie bartender guy. Who looks up at me with disgust.

VAN: Walk away, Vic. Walk away.

VIC: Well excuse me for hitting on the cute guy in the bar. Geez. When did they outlaw that? I'll just add that to illegal lighter borrowing in bars. Note to self. Bar law 1: Don't try to borrow lighters. Bar law 2: Don't give the bartender your phone number.

VAN: You are taking this way too personally, Vic.

VIC: I'll just stay out of bars altogether.

UNISON: Yeah, right.